You Got This God

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As I was walking to my class this afternoon, I started praying about, well everything. I’ve had so much on my shoulders and I gave it all to God right then and there. I felt relieved, confident, and blessed that I have a God so amazing. As you’ve read from my previous posts, I struggle daily on giving my troubles to God. I want to do it all on my own but I know I need him. Today was proof of that and how much he can help. Later that night I drove around for 10-15 minutes listening to Spur58 (christian rock band) and praising God. I haven’t been so happy in a long time and it felt good to connect with God again.

Brandi hasn’t been doing very well as of late. She still has the two holes in her stomach and it’s been causing difficulties across the board. It is wearing her out and her energy levels. She can’t eat without having to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes afterwards and it’s causing physical pain whenever the holes put out puss, air, or feces. She needs to go see her doctor but due to switching insurance companies and needing referrals and what not, she can’t go see him until at least December. These holes aren’t closing up on their own as the doctor had hoped so it’s time for a different route, whether that means more surgery or something else.

I fear that because of her disease, Brandi won’t be able to finish college. This is her first time in a classroom in almost 3 years and the surgeries/medications are showing their effects.  Because she was on so many different medications, her brain isn’t what it once was and she can’t remember everything that she needs too (similar to the effects of somebody using illegal drugs for a long period of time). She is physically exhausted and spent at the end of each day and add a job into the mix, it makes for a not so friendly dose.  She’s also going through some personal family issues and between all of this, I don’t see her being able to handle this for 4 years. True it’s her first semester but alot of the issues aren’t going away anytime soon. The medical issues will last a lifetime, she needs to work to support herself, and unfortunately the personal issues won’t be resolved anytime soon. For now she is handling everything but it’s only a matter of time….

I am doing my best to be there for her. Most importantly, I’m doing my best to make sure we trust God with all this. If she’s meant to finish college, then great. If not, then he will still provide and take care of her. It’s simply a matter of how much we put into trusting him.

Pray for Brandi that things get better. She will be coming home with me for the Holidays so she’s very excited to see everyone and meet those who she hasn’t yet.

While I once hated it, I’ve grown to like blogging. You’ll be hearing from me soon.

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Being Tested

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God is testing me as of late. He’s throwing at me different things from taking care of Brandi, school, finances, the list can go on and on. He’s seeing how I will handle everything and wondering if I will turn to him for guidance and support. And so far I have failed him. I’ve been trying to do it on my own but everyone has their breaking points and I’m reaching mine. So God here goes:

I’m sorry for not turning to you. I’m a fool for thinking I can handle life on my own. I’m independent and a go-getter but I’m a fool. I can’t accomplish anything meaningful without you. I can’t go on happy in life without you. So God I ask for your forgiveness for my foolishness. Please give me the guidance and the answers I need right now. Help me to always turn to you on a daily basis, not just when times are tough. Please be with Brandi and help heal her. Please give me the strength to be there for her.”

Soulpancake

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For those who don’t know, I’m a frequent blogger/visiter/user of the website soulpancake.com. If you’re unaware of what this site is, I highly encouraged you to check it out and watch the video that tells what the site is all about (It’s hard to describe). It was created by Rainn Wilson (“Dwight” from The Office) and it gives people the chance to do some higher thinking and discuss religion, creativity, God, life, afterlife, Earth, and etc. It really is a pretty cool website. Today one of the blog questions asked you to draw a Venn diagram of “your God” and beliefs. I did it and wanted to post it on here as well to share with everyone. It’s simple and to the point. But after you see mine, I encouraged you to draw one and post it as a comment or whatever. Perhaps yours will be as basic as mine or much more complex. Enjoy

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New Address

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Hey Family and Friends,

I have moved into a new house in Huntsville and wanted to give ya’ll my new address. I will most likely be living here until I graduate (because it’s a great place and I got great roommates!).

122 Varsity Drive

 Huntsville, TX 77320

I’ll be blogging again soon!!

video blog coming soon!

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Hey Everyone,

I am purchasing a new video camera in a week or so and one of the uses for it will be to “blog” in video format! I figured it would be something fun and new to try and I’ll try doing it on a daily basis but once school starts most likely on a weekly basis. Not that I have a whole lot to talk about on a daily basis, but at least you get to see mine (& Brandi’s) bright and shining faces! We’ll bring the latest news in our lives, the Houston area, maybe show you our amazing dance moves, a killer joke, or whatever comes across our minds! For now, I will upload the videos on YouTube and will give ya’ll the link when it’s up and running. I wanted to post the vids on here but unforunately it cost $$$ to do that. And i’m a broke college kid :). Anyways, be looking out for it in about 2 weeks!

Summer’s Here

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Well I have closed out another year at SHSU and am officially a junior. Besides one class that gave me trouble, I had a really good semester and found a couple of professors that I really enjoyed. I’ve decided to take a little time off from school and not do summer classes the first session, however I will probably go the second session in July. But I’ve been in school almost two years straight with no break so a little down time is needed.

Brandi is doing really good as of late. We thought she was going to have to have another surgery but luckily the hole has started closing on its own and she is eating soft foods right now and starting on a fiber diet. Hopefully the hole won’t blow open this time and she can put all of this behind her, for good. We plan on making a couple trips to Dallas in June so we hope to see everyone at some point.

Despite the Mavericks losing in the semi’s, I’ve really enjoyed the NBA playoffs this year. The Eastern Conference Finals that feature Cleveland (L. James) vs. Orlando (D. Howard) should be an exciting series to watch. And with the Lakers showing vulnerability, are they no longer the favorites to win it all? Time will tell.

For you gamers out there, I became the proud owner of a Xbox360 over Christmas but just recently got into the whole Xbox Live. Despite being a gamer all my life, I never did quite understand how some guys (and the occasional female) could spend days playing a game, disregarding hygenie and family memebers. But after coming across the Live feature of Xbox, I have a better understanding of that lol. It is completely addicting and I’ve spent hours playing it without even realizing how much time I spent on it. It’s pretty amazing though that you can play the same game and talk to people across the globe, all from your living room. How about them apples?

 I guess tha’ts all I’ve got for now. It’d probably be best that I get back to work. 🙂

A frustrating Sunday night

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Tonight I write not only in a frustrating mood but in a confused mood as well. I am currently listening to Brandi scream as she changes her dressing around her pick line. Not easy seeing your girlfriend scream in pain.

I am frustrated because tonight I saw Brandi chewing on food. She just had surgery Friday and wasn’t suppose to chew on food for at least 5 days but it’s only been 2. When she chews on food, she has to spit it out because she can’t sallow it but even when she chews, her intestine has to process the juice from the food that is in her mouth, which causes her intestine to be working when it needs to be healing. But try to imagine not eating at all and seeing how long you think you could go. I guess that’s where the frustrating part comes in for me. Brandi hasn’t actually sallowed food in almost 3 years. I can’t imagine what that is like but at the same time, I want her to get better so she can eat again so it’s difficult when I see her chewing food when I know she isn’t suppose to be.

I pray that God gives me patience and more importantly, an understanding of what Brandi is going through. Unless I experience first hand what she is going through, I can’t fully understand what it’s like. I also pray that he can heal this last hole so she can eat again, and soon.

Family, I hope ya’ll get to meet Brandi soon so you can hear her story and see the amazing girl she is.

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