As I was walking to my class this afternoon, I started praying about, well everything. I’ve had so much on my shoulders and I gave it all to God right then and there. I felt relieved, confident, and blessed that I have a God so amazing. As you’ve read from my previous posts, I struggle daily on giving my troubles to God. I want to do it all on my own but I know I need him. Today was proof of that and how much he can help. Later that night I drove around for 10-15 minutes listening to Spur58 (christian rock band) and praising God. I haven’t been so happy in a long time and it felt good to connect with God again.
Brandi hasn’t been doing very well as of late. She still has the two holes in her stomach and it’s been causing difficulties across the board. It is wearing her out and her energy levels. She can’t eat without having to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes afterwards and it’s causing physical pain whenever the holes put out puss, air, or feces. She needs to go see her doctor but due to switching insurance companies and needing referrals and what not, she can’t go see him until at least December. These holes aren’t closing up on their own as the doctor had hoped so it’s time for a different route, whether that means more surgery or something else.
I fear that because of her disease, Brandi won’t be able to finish college. This is her first time in a classroom in almost 3 years and the surgeries/medications are showing their effects. Because she was on so many different medications, her brain isn’t what it once was and she can’t remember everything that she needs too (similar to the effects of somebody using illegal drugs for a long period of time). She is physically exhausted and spent at the end of each day and add a job into the mix, it makes for a not so friendly dose. She’s also going through some personal family issues and between all of this, I don’t see her being able to handle this for 4 years. True it’s her first semester but alot of the issues aren’t going away anytime soon. The medical issues will last a lifetime, she needs to work to support herself, and unfortunately the personal issues won’t be resolved anytime soon. For now she is handling everything but it’s only a matter of time….
I am doing my best to be there for her. Most importantly, I’m doing my best to make sure we trust God with all this. If she’s meant to finish college, then great. If not, then he will still provide and take care of her. It’s simply a matter of how much we put into trusting him.
Pray for Brandi that things get better. She will be coming home with me for the Holidays so she’s very excited to see everyone and meet those who she hasn’t yet.
While I once hated it, I’ve grown to like blogging. You’ll be hearing from me soon.
